A Christmas Pledge

So I realize I have severely neglected both of my blogs amid a crazy time in my life. Nothing has specifically contributed to the chaos, I've just been busy and apparently haven't had much to say (Me? Not much to say? Ha ... No, it's true, I haven't).

As you are well aware, the holidays are upon us. A couple have come and gone and what seems to be the biggest holiday of the year still lies ahead. I must admit that as I've gotten older and fallen into slumps of depression almost regularly, the holidays don't feel as special.

Perhaps it's because I no longer live at home, I don't have a husband or children and I'm broke so I can't buy and wrap gifts for others. Regardless of the reason, I can sometimes be Grinch-like this time of year.

I try to get into the spirit, but I'm a procrastinator. By the time it hits me, people are shopping for roses and candy to celebrate Valentine's Day. I guess I just don't realize how much time I don't have to get into a Christmas kind of mood.

After a long introduction, let me get to the heart of this time of year for those of us who suffer from an eating disorder. It's tough, grueling even, to face big family feasts twice in just over a month, not to mention that we feel guilty receiving any gifts that may be under the tree for us (and for being so broke that we can't buy wonderful gifts for our loved ones or too paranoid or socially challenged to attempt shopping). It's the merriest difficult time of our lives.

There are ways to combat the "feast fears" such as trying to eat a light lunch before a heavy dinner. Or trying to eat a little bit of everything we like and being truly, honestly, aware of how our stomach feels ... key word here is HONESTLY. If we breathe and have a little bit of faith in ourselves that we can get through it, we may find that it's not as dreadful as ED makes it out to be.

But everyone faces a different reality during the holidays. Some just can't go through with the buffet-style feasts present around every corner and some jump right in to test the limits of their very being. Regardless of how you feel as Christmas approaches, know that we are often our own worst enemy and those things which we fear the most sometimes turn out to be memories we laugh at later or another notch on our belt of accomplishments.

I'm making a conscious effort in 2009 to not delay feeling the holiday spirit. I already hosted my very first Thanksgiving dinner. Yes, I INVITED the feast into my home this year and it turned out wonderful. I had more than 20 guests and while food was obviously present, so was a lot more.

Maybe I'll also make a Christmas pledge here and now to tackle one small fear every day from now until Dec. 25! Sounds like a plan to me and one I invite you to put into action yourself. Then, post later and tell me how you did because I'd love to know!

For now, Happy Belated Thanksgiving and Merry Early Christmas!