No More Silence ... It's Time to Talk

February is National Eating Disorders Awareness Month and it's time to talk about it.

Many people may think eating disorders are a phase — an attempt to look like a supermodel that quickly fades away. For some, this may in fact be true. But for most, eating disorders are life-threatening illnesses battled for a number of years and a number of reasons that may not be so clear.

The National Eating Disorders Association reports that in the U.S., as many as 10 million females and one million men are fighting a life and death battle with an eating disorder. You may also be surprised to know that in our country, eating disorders are more common than Alzheimer's disease which affects approximately four million Americans.

So when will light truly be shed on these disorders that have the highest premature mortality rate of any psychiatric disorder, yet get an average of only $1.20 in research dollars per affected individual?

I was hesitant to write this, but anyone who knows me knows this is a subject I am very passionate about. I think eating disorders are so often viewed in such a negative way that the people who struggle may feel ashamed to talk about it or to get help.

When individuals have an upset stomach, chest pains, headaches, etc. they typically go to the doctor who then may prescribe a medication or a course of treatment. For those with diabetes, daily insulin shots may have to be given and a diet may need to be implemented. And for these individuals there is a wealth of information and support available. There are events and product sales all over the country to raise awareness about cancer, diabetes, heart disease, and more.
Yet, your next door neighbor may be fighting for his or her life and may be completely alone. His or her doctor may be undereducated about eating disorders and the only treatment available is more than an hour away in Cincinnati. This is a real issue. This is a serious issue. This is an issue that must be talked about.

And I'm going to be one to talk (I can hear my coworkers snickering now because they know I'm definitely good at talking). I'm proudly wearing purple, as usual, to help raise awareness and I'd ask for you to do the same.

No, I don't mean you should deck yourself out from head-to-toe and wear a big NEDAW sign on your chest (even though I'm certain that would grab someone's attention). Rather, just toss on that purple shirt that's hanging in your closet or cut a piece of purple ribbon and pin it on your lapel. If you like butterflies, wear a butterfly pin to signify transformation and recovery. It's not about what you do; it's that you do something.

Too many people live in silence because they feel ashamed to be struggling with an eating disorder. Too many are embarrassed because they are overweight and too many can't see when they've gone beyond the realm of being thin. As humans, we are all different. We battle a range of issues and illnesses all unique to our particular life and self. But there is far more to eating disorders than a number on the scale.

If you are a local health professional, I beg you — if you haven't done so already — to venture into the darkness and learn about eating disorders. This will help those here in Highland and the surrounding counties not have to travel to Cincinnati or Dayton in a desperate search to find someone who understands and can help. It will also help shed that light on the growing epidemic of eating disorders from which our rural community is not exempt.

If you are a parent, I encourage you to become aware of eating disorders and to join myself and others in talking about these real illnesses.

And if you have an eating disorder, I promise you are not alone and that there is a path to recovery. Stand tall and fight back.

For everyone else ... It's simply time to talk about it.

On My Way

A lot has been happening in my life lately and my time has been limited. For the sake of my personal issues, that is both good and bad.

I am, if everything pans out asap, starting graduate school Friday. My stress level has already gone up and the question marks have started popping up in my mind as usual. Some mornings I think, "What am I doing? Can I handle this?" Other mornings I'm more excited than words can express.

I'm finding that the stress is actually a positive thing as my reaction to it is showing me areas I need to improve. I don't handle stress well and some pessimistic switch turns on that causes me to rant about how horrible or unfair life is. Or, I cry. Regardless of my reaction, I'm still alive. Therefore, I'm working on taking deep breaths and realizing that I can in fact do this. If I can't, it's only because of me.

On the flip side, as I prepare to enter this graduate program leading to a Master of Education in Counseling and Human Development with a concentration in mental health, I have become more aware of how much I need recovery in my own life. Once I learned this program would be a possibility, my thoughts and actions began shifting and not because I forced them to shift. I know that in order to be the best counselor I can be, I have to take care of me first. I have to get my own issues in order and take ED by the proverbial horns. I don't, however, have to achieve a quick and perfect recovery.

Slowly, I'm integrating new behaviors surrounding food. I've challenged myself a lot over the past few years, but now is the time to attempt a new challenge daily. For those without an ED, eating may not be such a huge dilemma. After all, it's simple, right? Get up, shower, eat breakfast ... Go to work. Take and eat lunch. Work ... Go home. Fix dinner. Eat and engage in family time or other activities. Sleep. Rinse and repeat ...

For me, it's more like this: Drag myself out of bed and into the shower after debating the previous night and first thing in the morning about what in the world to wear to work. Do my makeup, hair, etc. Start my car and try to throw together a quick peanut butter sandwich to take for lunch. No time for breakfast. Work. Sit at my desk for lunch with a peanut butter sandwich and maybe an apple. Eat it slowly until an hour or more has passed. Go smoke. Purge. Back to my desk. Work. Go home. Debate for an hour over whether to eat dinner and/or what to fix meanwhile snacking on Cheez-Its or tortilla chips. Eat. Purge. Eat again. Purge. Smoke. More tortilla chips. TV. Telephone. Snack again. Go to bed. Sleep. The whole day secretively spent thinking about food, weight, hunger, etc. while being completely and utterly aware of my body.

Did you get exhausted just reading that? Imagine living it. Yes, it's that crazy. That's just a summary of my day with food or the lack thereof. I battle nearly every minute with my mind and the thoughts that enter therein. But I've learned that our actions can be, and often are, a result of our thinking. We may miss so much of what life has to offer because we stay in our heads too much. It's one of the areas I need to tackle. Not all at once. Rather, one thought at a time. When I get up and ED starts in with "You don't have time for breakfast." That's when I need to step in and fix some oatmeal or an egg. After a week or two, ED's morning voice will be silenced and I can move on to tackle his "lunchtime voice." Little by little one gets far.

Perhaps what I'm getting at here is that I'm on my way to achieving a dream I only, well ... dreamed. I never thought it possible for me to actually become a graduate student, let alone a potential Licensed Professional Counselor who will some day help others with EDs and related issues. I'm shifting my focus more to getting healthy so I can be the best LPC possible.

I'm on my way to living a life I never imagined possible and AH, it feels so good.